Bev Abbey

On Wednesday 21st July 2021, our family was changed forever. Our beautiful son, Harry, who was just 19-years-old, was involved in a road traffic collision while riding his motorbike to work. Harry was unable to recover from his injuries and was pronounced dead at the scene.  

The Saturday prior to Harry’s death, Andrew and I had travelled to Anglesey to spend time with our daughter, her family and our grandchildren. That morning before we left I’d spoken with Harry asking him to come with us.

Typical of most 19-year-olds, he didn’t want to come on holiday, preferring to stay at home with his older brother and have the house to themselves. I really wish he had come with us, not knowing then this would be the last day I ever saw Harry and his big, beautiful smile.

Since that day my life has changed, I’ve changed. There feels like a life before and a life after. There are things I used to do that I don’t anymore, and things I have started to do that I didn’t before!

I know they are both lives to be lived and I will do that for Harry and my family, but they are different!

I have been supported by RoadPeace since I reached out to North West local group coordinator, Pauline Fielding. She has been an absolute inspiration to me, and I really don’t think I’d be where I am today without her and my RoadPeace family.

I regularly attend group Zoom meetings, which initially were very difficult and sometimes they still are. The thing that resonates most for me is knowing that I’m not alone despite the pain and feelings of utter sadness that can consume me.

By meeting with others who have shared a similar experience, creates a sense of community and understanding, often without the need for words at all.

As time goes on, I hope that my experiences since losing Harry and sharing them, go some way to helping others trying to cope with utterly tragic situations.

The people I’ve met and the friends I have made at RoadPeace I will treasure forever. I will continue to be inspired and I hope to inspire by pushing myself into uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations, to ensure that our loved ones’ memories live on in us and the things that we do in our lives.

Sometimes I feel sad, sometimes I feel angry, but more than anything what hurts is the absence of Harry in our lives. It doesn’t just hurt emotionally but physically too. It just hurts so much.

Heartbroken Mum xx